Small Talk

Children's Views

August 22nd, 2009

I got this in a mass e mail. I don't like mass mail, but this is going to be the RARE time I share it with others. It's just so funny. Hope this can bring you a chuckle today.

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!  As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from  the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a  note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child  are not necessarily those of his parents."

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.  During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right  now. She's hitting the bottle."

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the  women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with  ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in  amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,  I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and  down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,  then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie  my shoe?"

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got  back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear  that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the  disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought  his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the  Sonnn, and
into the hole he goes."

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and  they won't let me talk!"

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as  he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the  Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I  found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment  in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

Posted in child, dad, mom, parent | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Children's Views”

  1. Rosette:

    HA HA HA HA....

  2. hemajang:

    I agree....HAx11.

  3. midori-mm:

    funny, funny, funny!!!

  4. James:

    When I was living in Honolulu long ago in a four unit apartment, we had to climb the cement stairs to the parking. One day my neighbor was in a rush and ran up the stairs to his car. When asked where his father was, his four year old son replied, "My daddy went tumbling up the stairs".

  5. Rosette:

    I am not even to say anything especially my youngest ..that boy the things that come out of his okay he pick that up from me......

  6. Rosette:

    yes my son would say things infront of the husband who is the quiet type get so embarass I JUST LAUGH! my oldest is the quiet type ....then comes the youngest son.....ohh well. one tiem this guy was wearing this cyclist outfit son was pointing at him WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT THING! GOOD GOD HE SAY did you ever look at your shoes!!!

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