Small Talk


September 29th, 2010

"You're fired from ordering the Netflix," complained Claus, as he looked at the mail. The movie was The Lovely Bones.

I had read the book and was curious to see the movie, though I knew looking at it would trigger all my already-neurotic parental fears. I really don't need encouragement from a film to feel unsafe and nervous about my daughter's safety. I can do that just fine on my own. I get that from my mom.

"How is this a chick flick?" I asked.

"Why couldn't you order a comedy or a thriller?" he insisted.

"Then you do it," I said.

He went online and was looking for The Hurt Locker. "I already saw that," I said.

With total surprise, he said, "When did you see The Hurt Locker?!" He probably thinks that's not my genre, and/or when did I look at a movie without him?

I laughed. "We have had this exact conversation about six times now. I rented this when you were skiing in Utah in February. Remember?" For good measure, I laughed at him periodically for the rest of the night. Maybe now he won't forget.

"Why do you have to rent the good ones when I'm gone?" he sniffed.

"Why do you have to go skiing on Valentines Day weekend without me?" I sniffed back.

We watched The Lovely Bones that night without further complaint.

Have I mentioned I've seen The Hurt Locker?


The next movie was Twilight. I have to admit, I do like that series. I saw the first one out of curiosity, and to my shock, I actually liked it. (Team Jacob, by the way. It's the abs.) (OMG, am I officially a cougar??)

When that came in the mail, Claus was really annoyed at me for having the "worse" taste in movies. I watched it one afternoon when I was sick, thinking he would not care about seeing it.

It was a Saturday and we had nothing else to look at that night on TV, so he said he wouldn't mind watching Twilight out of pure desperation. "But you've already seen it," he said politely, "so we don't have to look at it again. Twice in a day is a bit much, right?"

I insisted I was OK with it, and in order to make it interesting for myself, I put up the Spanish subtitles so I could brush up. I then fell asleep.

About halfway through the movie, I got up, and said I was going to bed. He turned off the TV and followed me to the room.

"Did you like the movie?" I asked. As expected, he said no. Make that, "Absolutely not."

"Why did you watch it for so long, then?" I said.

He thought I wanted to see it. I thought he wanted to see it.

To make it worse, he couldn't hear because the volume was too low, and he didn't want to turn it up 1) because he claimed he was too lazy to get off the sofa, 2) because he thought I purposely had it set low so I could really practice my Spanish.

"I could hear it," I clarified.

"What? You're the one who can never hear the movie. You make me turn it up so that the neighbors can hear it. That's why I thought you had it low on purpose," he said. Apparently, there was only a ten minute window in which there were no cars, no dogs barking, and no dishwasher washing, so that he could hear the words being spoken.

So we were sitting there for each others' sake, when nobody really wanted to watch Twilight. I laughed so hard I cried.

By the way- I watched the Hurt Locker already.


I assured Claus I got it right for next time. Next up, several seasons of Six Feet Under. We saw seasons one and two, but I guess I didn't order the subsequent seasons because I must have made a mistake or oversight when making the queue.

And still he is not happy with me. "So now I have to watch my work," he stated. He runs a mortuary.

I'm going to have to insist he take over the Netflix account! Except, I then might find myself watching The Hurt Locker. I've seen that already, you know.


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15 Responses to “Netflix”

  1. Sam Murai:

    Do you have fun driving him crazy? Poor Claus!

  2. Rosette:

    oh next time torture him put scary haunted movies .... every time my husband is home we make a point of snuggling watching I click scary ghost movies so my husband force to snuggle me ... SPOOKY then we can't sleep after....funny.

  3. Rosette:

    my husband used to not watch movies he cannot sit I trained him to sit with me watch movies .... I try to pick movie we can watch husband can only understand kids movies so we used to go out to watch kids movies (HE HAS SIMPLE MIND) .... but slowly he can finally sit with me at home starting with GHOST movies keep him on his toes....... simple movies for him to understand funny...I usually save movies for winter... during summer we do outdoor things but winter time I like to watch all sorts of movies... many movies to watch ......

  4. Rosette:

    when everybody is asleep I watch all sorts of movies least my husbnad wont bother me asking question because he cannot understand the movie....the husbnad watches the movie background so he cannot concentrate on story line...OMG he drives me crazy so I prefer to watch action movies or girly movies alone...!

  5. Rosette:

    I am glad my boys are getting older so we can watch different types of movies instead of kids youngest we make a point we snuggle watch movies son loves spending time with me watching movies ....I almost went insane stuck with kiddie movies my brain turn to mushy banana!

  6. kanakakuuna:

    i should give Netflix a try. i don't have time 2 watch a PG-13 or R-rated movie since i will have 2 watch it after my children r asleep. and i choose 2 sleep 2. but i should b able 2 rent a G- or PG-rated movie which my whole family can watch.
    i've seen Hurt Locker too.

  7. Kage:

    Netfix is great. I have the one movie at a time.

    I keep adding to my queue every time I see a commercial for a new dvd movie being released. I think my queue is long enough to last me two years. 😆

    Six Feet Under was a great series.

  8. galekaminari:

    I was given Lovely Bones as a gift. I have a young daughter. Why someone would give me that as a Christmas gift, I have no idea, but I have wondered whether it was insensitivity or out of meanness or because the person thought it was interesting, or maybe it was cheap at Costco. Whatever reason, it really ramped up my fear level. I cannot believe that you had the stamina to watch the movie. You are truly tough! I am plenny paranoid!

  9. M:

    Hello Diane,

    You guys always make me laugh! thank you!

  10. Ken Conklin:

    I haven't gone to a real movie theater for several years. And when I went I was shocked that they were forcing the audience to watch commercials before the movie. So might as well stay home and watch TV or rent a movie. Also, I've heard that people sometimes bring home bedbugs from the theater, taken there by other people who sat in the same seat. Yuk! I've heard that Hurt Locker is a pretty good movie. I wonder if Diane has seen it?

  11. Wayne:

    Ahhhhhhhhhh, married life! no wonder i am still single :)...and yes, I actually cook dinner, pay the bills, have a good job and enjoy life!

  12. Ynaku:


  13. Popoman:

    Its' hilarious! This scenerio must go on in tons of households! Elene (my wife) usually doesn't like the movies I watch. I've always thought of the line, "and they live happily ever after.."
    after their wedding day - limited to fairy tales and fables.

  14. galekaminari:

    I have no expectation that liking all of the same movies be part of the happy marriage/relationship equation. Is that weird?

    Claus should thank his lucky stars that you have not gotten so accustomed to a steady diet of kiddie vids and kiddie books that you can no longer stand to watch or read adult level material. It happens!

  15. RedZone:

    You could go to 2 DVDs then he could get what he wants and you could get what you want.

    I have a Roku and use their instant movie feature. They have a wide selection. You create an instant watching queue and can watch the movies any time you want to.

    The best thing I like about netflix is their wide selection of foreign movies. I just got thru watching The Time Between Dog and Wolf which I really liked.

    I also watched Iron Man 2 which I thought was not as good as the first one.

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