Small Talk

Two dads

February 25th, 2011

Most days, my husband or I will drop Olivia off at school, and our babysitter picks her up after school. Therefore, the students have seen all three of us. Apparently, they will tell Olivia when they see the sitter, "Your dad's here."

I wrote a previous blog about how Olivia went through a phase of saying she had two daddies. That was before she was in preschool. Now it's not her, but the other kids saying it. She apparently corrects them and says it's not her dad.

I guess this has been going on a while but I only heard about it recently, and I find it funny. I teased Claus and the sitter that, now this could theoretically be a reality as Hawaii's become the seventh state in the nation to legalize civil unions.

On a more serious note, now that Governor Abercrombie signed Senate Bill 232 into law this week, same sex couples will be able to start entering into civil unions January 1, 2012. State House Representative Tom Brower (23- Waikiki, Ala Moana, Kakaako), who voted for the bill, held a committee on Tuesday to look at the issue of how civil union ceremonies might affect tourism.

"As Chair of our Tourism Committee, I wanted to explore possibilities to boost our market capture. Now that we have legalized civil unions, we might be able to increase tourist numbers as people will see Hawaii as more inclusive destination," he told me after what he called a "successful" public forum.

Of the nine speakers at the meeting, only one was from a hotel (not my employer). Various suggestions included the need for increased advertising, and specifically tailored to the gay market; the creation of more gay infrastructure, and the creation of more gay "anchor" events. Kamalani Wilson of Lesbian & Gay Business of Hawaii is quoted as saying Hawaii is ranked 18 on a list of most desirable places for gays to travel. JoAnne Adams of the GLBT Caucus of the Democratic Party of Hawaii is quoted as saying that worldwide, gay travel represents $84 billion; if would be great if Hawaii could get even one percent of that. Without commenting on the moral controversy surrounding the issue, it's clear that from a purely economic standpoint, there is money to be made here.

Rep. Tom Brower

Rep. Tom Brower

Rep. Brower says he would be open to holding another similar forum if the need arises in the future.

Where do you stand on the new civil unions law? IF you were to attend Rep. Brower's public forum, would you have had suggestions on how to promote gay tourism in Hawaii?


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Posted in child, dad | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Two dads”

  1. Ken Conklin:

    Should Hawaii reach out to encourage gay tourism? Sure! Let's bring in more tourists to spend more money. When two men start kissing on the beach, I can cover my eyes so I won't throw up.

    But the real story is the male babysitter. Congratulations to him for breaking the glass ceiling. It's about time we men should be able to get jobs in traditionally female occupations, like nursing and babysitting. This is a topic we should discuss further during Men's History Month.

    Now for a more serious analysis that is too "heavy" and most people won't want to read (I have a right to display it, but you can cover your eyes).

    Marriage is a sacrament bringing souls together in the presence of God. That's the domain of religion, and government should stay out of it. Any church should be able to marry same-gender or opposite-gender people according to whatever its theology might be. Sexuality is an important part of spirituality; therefore any church should be free to allow or prohibit same-gender marriages according to whatever its religious beliefs may be. Government should never certify any marriage, nor any divorce.

    Civil union is a legal partnership certified and enforced by the government. The partners in a civil union have rights and responsibilities as determined by the government. If the government chooses to bestow benefits to promote civil stability (such as tax breaks), it can only bestow benefits to civil unions but not to marriage (separation of church and state).

    People can have either a marriage, or a civil union, or both. Having one does not necessarily mean having the other.

    Churches are free to allow same-gender marriage or to prohibit it, because that is a matter of religion and government must not interfere.

    Civil unions are partnership agreements sanctioned and enforced by government. It is therefore a matter of civil rights that government must allow same-gender partners to form a civil union on the same basis as opposite-gender partners. When business partners decide to file incorporation papers the government does not inquire into whether they are same or opposite gender, whether they have a sexual relationship or what sort of sexual relationship they might have. The same should be true of domestic partnership contracts, also known as civil unions.

    This has been a summary of a lengthy, detailed analysis I wrote. Please see

  2. Rosette:

    it boils down to money..oh sure tell them we accept gay...WHAT! as is people don't know that will go anywhere they please.....they will create their own community.

  3. Rosette:

    I think kids are saying oh here is your another daddy ..they mean you MOM HAVE TWO LOVERS...omg I crack myself up...!

  4. Rosette:

    NEVER MIND making a big issue over gays..try threesome....yes funny

  5. Rosette:

    Diane Ako RULES THREESOME....yes tell them we accept threesome..make mew rules...they waste money on making gay rules why THREESOME RULES...TWO MEN AND A LADY..OH I CRACK UP !

  6. kris:

    It's about time. I feel that gay marriage/civil union is a non issue. I don't care what you do 10 mins. a day in your bedroom as long as your a good person & a law abiding citizen. I know many "normal" people that are pilau & why they have rights but gay people don't? I just don't get it..
    As far as having 2 daddies, both danish, isn't that every womans dream? Hahahah

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