I often associate homesickness in children with summer camp, so to my surprise, Olivia has been expressing homesickness over several trips this year.

In August, my husband and I stayed at Hilton Waikoloa. We went with my cousin's family, and those are her favorite friends, so I thought she would be nonstop distracted and happy.

Instead, on the first night, she started literally crying for her grandparents. She was past her bedtime so the fatigue did not help the situation, and she said she missed Popo and Kung Kung and wanted to see them.

This homesickness mainfested the next night as well, but not as strongly. She usually sees her grandparents every day or every other day.

In October, the five of us went to Disneyland. Since we had the grandparents with us, I didn't expect any homesickness, but there it was - always at night, when she's tired - in the form of "I miss my house and my pets." It is always strongest the first night, not as bad the second, and gone by the third night.

Last week, the three of us stayed at a relative's house in Diamond Head so that I could bicycle to work during APEC. This was a fantastic house with a large yard and a pool. Again, more of her favorite things.

While she did use the pool morning and night, she complained at first of missing the dog and cat. So much so, that when the babysitter picked her up from preschool one afternoon, he took her back home to visit the furry friends.

I figured that it was more the change in routine than actual homesickness that was the issue. After all, the little changes and extra effort to disrupt my routine caused me a little grief (in the form of extra energy to think about what to pack, who will feed the pets, etc.), but at least I'm old enough to understand what we're doing and what the payoff is.

I recently saw this article online at BabyCenter.com which confirmed my theory:

"No matter how free-spirited and even defiant your preschooler can sometimes be, know that structure is the best thing for him and your entire household. When children don't know what's happening next, they can feel anxious. And anxious children are irritable, angry, uncooperative, and unhappy. Routines offer security and reassurance."

We are a very stable household. We do the same things day in and day out. As one would expect, we have become more routine-oriented since becoming parents. It's just easiest that way.

For every trip, I explained to Olivia what we were doing and why, but maybe I'm missing something. Is there something more I should have said than, "We're packing a suitcase because we are going to spend the week at Aunt Henrietta's house. It's for Mommy's work. You like the pool, it'll be fun."

Am I supposed to reassure her that we will be going home in five days? Or is this just a phase that she'll grow out of?

***
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Ready to stop smoking? The American Cancer Society's 36th annual Great American Smokeout is today! The Great American Smokeout is an annual nationwide event created by the American Cancer Society to encourage smokers to use November 17 as the day to quit smoking or to make a plan to quit smoking.

For those interested in quitting tobacco, there is free help available. The Hawaii Tobacco Quitline, 1-800-QUIT-NOW (1-800-784-8669), is a free and confidential telephone service for Hawaii tobacco users who want to quit. Available statewide, the Hawaii Tobacco Quitline provides people who are ready to quit with free nicotine gum or patches as well as free coaching. It also provides referrals to other community cessation services and information to family and friends and health care providers who are interested in helping others quit tobacco.

For more details on the Hawaii Tobacco Quitline and contact information for other cessation programs, access to an interactive quiz to test if you're addicted to nicotine, or to calculate how much money you can save from quitting tobacco, visit www.clearthesmoke.org. You can also follow Clear the Smoke on Twitter @clearthesmoke or Facebook at www.facebook.com/clearthesmoke.

Communites around the state are holding events to mark the day. On Oahu, the University Health Services-Manoa Health Promotion Office will host the American Cancer Society's Great American Smokeout health fair.

The fair's theme is "Clean Air, Clean Aina." The event will run from 10:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the University of Hawaii-Manoa's Campus Center Mall and will feature interactive games, displays, free giveaways and prizes.

Other participating organizations include Hawaii Tobacco Quitline, Coalition for a Tobacco-Free Hawaii, University of Hawaii School of Dental Hygiene, American Heart Association, Waikiki Health Center, Hawaii Bone Marrow Donor Registry and Blood Bank of Hawaii. For more information, contact Lisa Kehl or Kristen Scholly at (808) 956-8060.

On Hawaii Island, the West Hawaii Tobacco-Free Coalition will commemorate the Great American Smokeout with an exhibit table at a free Luncheon and Community Fair for the homeless, a celebration in recognition of the Hawaii County's 2011 Hunger & Homeless Awareness Month.

The event is sponsored by HOPE Services Hawaii, Inc., Family Support Hawaii, and Community Alliance Partners - Hawaii County and will take place on from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Old Kona Airport, Makaeo Pavilion. For more information, contact Josephine Ibarra, HOPE Services Hawaii's West Hawaii Community Relations Director, at (808) 933-6041 or jibarra@hopeserviceshawaii.org.

On the east side of Hawaii Island, the American Cancer Society - East Hawaii Branch will be hosting a Turkey Trot Great American Smokeout event at Waiakea Intermediate School during lunch recess from 11:30 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Students can participate in a mini-fun run and the Coalition for a Tobacco-Free Hawaii - East Hawaii Coalition will conduct a spin game and Tobacco-Free Me Pledge. For more information, contact Vanessa Carlson, Waiakea Intermediate School's Student Activities Club Advisor, at (808) 981-7231. Waiakea Intermediate School is at 200 West Puainako Street in Hilo.

Moving to Kauai, the American Cancer Society, Coalition for a Tobacco-Free Hawaii, Kauai Veterans Clinic, and Hoola Lahui are joining forces for the Great American Smokeout "Holo Holo."

This initiative is a mobile unit that will be deployed at several Garden Isle beach parks (formally Pine Tree Inn, Hanamaulu & Kapaa) from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. to distribute Quit kits and provide on-the-spot cessation advice to beachgoers. For more information, contact Susan Oshiro-Taogoshi at American Cancer Society's Kauai office at (808) 246-0695.

And on Maui, over the weekend, The Coalition for a Tobacco-Free Maui will be hosting a Great American Smokeout event at the Maui Mall on 70 East Kaahumanu Avenue in Kahului. The event runs from 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m on November 19. There will be food, entertainment, and great family fun.

Grade level division winners and the overall winner of the "Smoke-Free Cars = Healthy Kids & Ohana" art contest will also be recognized at the event. The contest was open to all Maui County students in grades six to eight to help build awareness that secondhand smoke in cars is harmful to everyone's health, especially those who are ages 17 and younger.

For more information, contact Sonya Niess, Coalition for a Tobacco-Free Maui Coordinator, at (808) 575-7602 or sonya@tobaccofreehawaii.org.

Good luck on this day in being a "quitter!"

Like so many women, I have a nightly bathroom beauty ritual. Mine usually involves just three steps: I remove makeup, I moisturize, and I apply lip balm. If I'm feeling ambitious, I use a facial scrub or mask.

Very recently, that ritual has expanded to ten steps. I received a number of gifts for my birthday, I got a random gift from Paul's wife who runs Merle Norman, and I re-discovered some products under the sink when I went looking for more toothpaste.

I now have makeup remover, toner, pore tightener, pre-moisturizer, moisturizer, wrinkle creme for the eyes, wrinkle creme for the lips, lip balm, and hair smoother (don't ask me why. My hair is stick-straight like most Chinese people). That night, I felt ambitious and I also used a mask.

Often, there's a backup for the bathroom. Our bathroom is tiny, with one sink, which is located in the bathroom, not outside like in some homes. It's roughly seven by five feet, including all the appliances, so really, there's not much room if you add people.

If all of us are in it at the same time (one in the shower, one on the toilet, one using the sink) it feels like a telephone booth of yore. (Am I dating myself with that anachronistic reference?!)

I got to the sink first. Claus patiently waited. He has my timing down after all these years of marriage, and after three minutes he started pacing outside and leaning in the door frame waiting to get in. After five minutes he cut in front of me to get his toothbrush to start his male bedtime ritual (teeth, pee, done. Men are so easy.)

After he brushed his teeth (squishing me aside to rinse his mouth) I was still on the last step. He looked at me and cocked his head, not unlike the way Inca does when I do something out of the ordinary.

"Yes, I'm taking longer tonight. I added some things," I confirmed. Now and then I have the desire and the energy to take a few extra minutes for just me. Since I became a mom, I feel like my life is spent doing for others now: a job, a little kid, a house, a dog, a cat. The needs are cavernous and never-ending. Where am I in this mix? You wonder why I ignore all the Facebook requests/comments/messages?

So yes, a 10 minute bedtime beauty ritual helps reset the balance- maybe as much for the inside of me as the outside. Husband, you'll just have to wait.

***
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I could not have anticipated that I would become one of those adults who just loves all things Disney, but I am. I blame my kid. It's for her that we visited Disneyland twice in two years, and I'm not sure who's more into it at this point- she or I!

I just went there in October, and at the time, it was decked out in pumpkins. In less than a week, it will be reimagined in holiday cheer.

Come November 14, Mickey Mouse gets a cartoon-style Christmas tree, plus there's a new holiday segment for 'World of Color', fireworks, the Christmas parade, and snowfall on Main Street, U.S.A.

Here's a holiday round up:

FANTASYLAND: Every night, "The Magic, The Memories, and You!" show on the façade of "it's a small world" in Disneyland park will offer a new segment, specially added for the season. The segment is a musical score filled with favorite holiday tunes and images of resort guests celebrating their holiday visits. As the presentation unfolds, the façade of "it's a small world" Holiday is frozen in ice, decorated with wreaths and candy canes, wrapped in Christmas paper, and even turned into a giant snow globe. This new segment appears in "The Magic, The Memories and You!" beginning Friday, Nov. 18.

Sleeping Beauty’s Winter Castle is adorned with traditional snowdrifts and icicles.  After dark, a sensational holiday lighting and special-effects show carries the magic of the holidays from the castle all the way to the Christmas tree in Town Square.  The 60-foot-tall Disneyland Christmas tree is specially designed to present a nightly holiday light show like no other with more than 62,000 energy-efficient LED lights.

FRONTIERLAND:  Special holiday versions of Haunted Mansion, with a madcap celebration as the traditions of Halloween and Christmas collide. The ghoulish but well-meaning Jack Skellington from the film "Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas" has come to Haunted Mansion to transform it with his skewed vision of the holidays.

Santa Claus and his reindeer return to greet guests at Santa's Reindeer Round-up in Big Thunder Ranch. Kids and their families chat with St. Nick and see real reindeer grazing in a corral.

TOONTOWN: Nearby, in Mickey's Toontown, the centerpiece of the new holiday décor is a  cartoon-style Christmas tree in front of Toontown City Hall. Sculpted garlands and wreaths adorn the Toontown gazebo and add holiday cheer to the Gag Warehouse. The personal Christmas trees in the front yards of Mickey's and Minnie's houses also carry the "toon" theme.

MAIN STREET: On Main Street, U.S.A., Disneyland welcomes back the traditional, 60-foot-tall Christmas tree that is a popular guest photo location.

"A Christmas Fantasy" parade has become a holiday tradition in Disneyland. Guests enjoy watching as Disney characters celebrate the magic of the season, wrapping gifts, baking holiday treats and preparing for the arrival of Santa Claus, who shouts a jolly greeting to spectators along the parade route. Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse even take to the ice for some skating fun.

The Sleeping Beauty's Winter Castle presentation unfolds throughout the evening in three acts, each of them featuring a touch of winter snow on Main Street, U.S.A. The finale of the show includes the legendary "Believe ... in Holiday Magic" fireworks show, which takes guests on a journey of sights and sounds of the season and ends with a touching rendition of "White Christmas," along with a climactic snowfall swirling down on Main Street, U.S.A., "it's a small world" Mall and New Orleans Square.

At The Disney Gallery on Main Street, U.S.A., in Disneyland, a display of vintage and new art celebrating Walt Disney's love of railroading will premiere during the holiday season. "All Aboard for A Grand Circle Tour of the Trains of Disney!" will survey Disney trains from the classic Disneyland Railroad to such historic routes as Nature's Wonderland and the Carolwood-Pacific circuit that operated in Disney's backyard in Holmby Hills, California.

Disney California Adventure celebrates the season with fanciful park-wide decorations and lively entertainment. After dark, guests are treated to a jolly seasonal addition to the "World of Color" nighttime water spectacular. This holiday season, Lanny and Wayne, Santa's techno-savvy elves from the "Prep & Landing" holiday specials, appear in a "World of Color" sequence.

The park's newest attraction, The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel's Undersea Adventure, is specially decorated for the holidays, along with its Paradise Pier neighbors, the Boardwalk Pizza & Pasta and Paradise Garden Grill restaurants.

"a bug's land" transforms as Flik and his bug buddies spread giant Christmas lights and oversized ornaments throughout their realm.

The holiday scene along the Paradise Bay boardwalk includes a beautifully decorated Christmas tree and lampposts decorated with seasonal wreaths.

Santa Claus greets guests in a specially decorated gazebo on the boardwalk near Ariel's Grotto on Paradise Pier.

A new Disney California Adventure street show, "Phineas and Ferb's Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party" invites guests of all ages to "seize the day," dancing and singing on Paradise Pier with the Disney Channel's inventive animated boy geniuses.

Also on tap are the energetic "dance-off" competition of "Disney Dance Crew" on the Backlot Stage in Hollywood Pictures Backlot, and the rock concert-style "Disney Channel Rocks," featuring music from Disney Channel movies and series, performed on the Palisades Stage in Paradise Park, alongside Paradise Bay lagoon.

In Blue Sky Cellar at Golden Vine Winery, the Imagineers' workshop offers guests a preview of what's coming to Disney California Adventure, including Buena Vista Street and Cars Land in 2012.

Also, guests may book guided holiday tours that provide entry into "it's a small world" Holiday and Haunted Mansion Holiday, and reserved seating for the Disneyland "A Christmas Fantasy" parade. For information and reservations guests may visit Disneyland City Hall or call (714) 781-4565.

Expanded hours at both Disneyland Resort theme parks extend the fun. For more information about holidays at Disneyland Resort, visit www.disneyland.com/holidays and for hotel and ticket offers, visit www.disneyland.com/offers.

The holiday cheer lasts through January 8, 2012. Gosh, do I - I mean, we - have time to go back?!

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What does "hourglass figure" mean to you? Is it shapely and attractive, as I took it, or is it a euphemism for"fat," as perhaps one woman took it?

One reader, newly transplanted from Los Angeles, wrote to ask advice from your blogger, because, he pointed out, I'm a local Asian female, so maybe I have insight. I don't think I do, so he let me open it up to the larger blogosphere.

Here's what he said:

"I met a really beautiful and intelligent woman at an an outdoor event a few weeks ago.  She was Asian (Chinese / Filipina), born and raised in Hawaii, and a high school teacher in her early thirties. We had been talking for about a half hour and really seemed to be developing a nice rapport. We had even made tentative plans to meet for coffee sometime.

Then, things suddenly went downhill. Because she had classic curves (large bust, narrow waist, etc.), I thought I would pay her a compliment and be a bit flirtatious, so I commented that she had a 'really nice, hourglass figure.'  Instead, she became deeply offended.  She said, 'Excuse me, you hardly know me, why are you talking about my figure?'

I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but I think I only exacerbated things.  She told me I was being 'inappropriate' and 'offensive' and got up off her chair and began to walk away.  Then she came back and she politely asked me to sit down (she was much shorter than me and it will make sense when you read the next part.)  I sat down, though she remained standing, and shortly thereafter WHAP! She slapped my face and departed."

I don't know this reader IRL, so I have no idea what kind of vibe he may have been giving out as he said it, nor do we know what the female is like, to better assess her personality and get an idea if perhaps she's very conservative.

However, going off just this description, I think the lady is being too sensitive. If she's at an event, she's hopefully dressed nicely. If she's chatting with a man for half an hour and talking about coffee dates, that would seem to indicate some interest on her part. (Unless she's a timeshare salesperson, which she's not!) What's wrong with a nicely delivered compliment?

Your thoughts? Let's help a brotha's love life.

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