Archive for December, 2011

Horrible-er

By
December 14th, 2011



My friend Christine was at my house last weekend. When she was done with our visit, she was having a friend, Tracy, pick her up. This friend apparently wanted to meet me, but I wasn't aware of this until he was in my driveway.

I had no makeup on. I hadn't done my hair, and I was wearing comfortable shorts and a shirt. It was a very... lived-in look. Most times, when I'm just cruising at my house, I don't dress up. Some women do, but I am not that woman.

The car pulled up and I gave her a hug goodbye in my foyer. "No, come outside," she said.

"Oh... can I say goodbye here?" I asked. I was trying to hide from new people.

"Can you meet Tracy?" she requested.

"Do I have to?" I winced.

"Come on. Real quick?" she implored.

I didn't want to make a fuss or be difficult, but who doesn't hate the mini-ambush? "But I look horrible," I complained.

My daughter and her friend, Kira, were playing the living room and heard me. "My mom looks horrible-er," she volunteered, as if that should make me feel better. It kind of did.

I laughed and went outside, met this guy, didn't die of makeupless shame.

I went inside and laughed at Kira again. "Horrible-er?" I shook my head.

Still unaware of the vast humor in that little interchange, Kira expanded on the definition. "Yeah, she didn't even change out of her pajamas, and her hair is up to here," as she held a hand about four inches above her head.

When it was time to deliver Kira back to her house, which is three homes up from ours, Claus suggested we go inside and tell Joann we were there to witness this morning-hair horribleness. I'm sure her mom Joann will love hearing how she was part of a comparison of whose mother was more terrible looking in the morning.

***
Also reach me via DianeAko.com

Interoffice envelopes

By
December 9th, 2011



When I walk through Waikiki, I am often mistaken for a tourist. I look very Japanese. I've gotten this reaction my entire life. People try to hand me fliers and coupons for attractions.

I thought that it would abate now that I am dressed like someone who is working, not going to the beach. It has, slightly, along the regular travel paths where I've come to know some of the other regulars.

However, if I stray off Lewers Avenue, I still get solicitations. That is, until I stumbled across a very effective way to ward off unwanted advances.

I was taking a lunchtime walk with a coworker and mistakenly carried a couple of interoffice envelopes with me the whole way. You know, those big, yellow, 8 x 11 envelopes that circulate from department to department. Nothing says Office Lady more than that, and it totally worked.

Nobody even looked at me. Not the sandwich shop girls trying to get you to come inside, not the guy dressed up as a moose, not the gun club worker who glumly stands at the corner thrusting coupons at passers by.

Awesome.

What secret weapon do you employ to get other types of solicitors to steer clear of you?

***
Also reach me via DianeAko.com

Toys for Tots fundraiser at Honolulu Club

By
December 7th, 2011



Honolulu Club, the island’s premiere fitness center, invites the public to celebrate the holidays in style, while raising awareness and donations for a good cause.

“We’ve partnered with Toys for Tots for the past several decades because we are a strong supporter of charities in the community,” said Honolulu Club general manager Rey Ronquilio.

On Friday, December 9, Honolulu Club will hold a toy drive for Toys for Tots. The evening event, emceed by television personality Howard Dashefsky, runs from 6 – 9 p.m. in the BAIRZ Lounge and pool side, and will feature a dee jay, live band, complimentary pupus, and special drink pricing. Cocktail attire requested- dress to impress!

Club members will have complimentary admission with a toy donation. Non-members are welcome, but asked to please donate $10 in addition to donating a toy. A donation of $20 is suggested for attendees without a toy. All monetary admission funds will be donated to Toys for Tots.

Door prizes will be given out, compliments of Schewe Travel, Honolulu Club’s official travel agency, as well as Pearlridge Mall and many other great gifts!

Kindergarten

By
December 5th, 2011



I'm now at the stressful stage of parenthood that entails applying my child for kindergartens. I am doing the usual round of top tier schools, like every other parental hopeful, and then a list of backups.

Have you been through this lately? Then you know the best schools cost around $20,000 a year and have a multi-page application with essay questions. It's just like when I applied for college!

I've met other parents of young children and we compare notes, share tips. They talk about what the teachers are looking for during the second phase of the application process, when you bring your child in for an in-person meeting or observation session.

I've heard the kids who can read and write have a better chance, so we've been working with her after preschool.

What I haven't done is enroll her in programs that prep the child for kindergarten admissions. I think that's too much for someone who's four. That's just my personal feeling.

Gosh! What do you look for in a school? How do you prepare a child to ace the admissions process? What qualities do you think the school officials want to see?

***

Also reach me via DianeAko.com

The hard truth

By
December 2nd, 2011



Olivia blurts out whatever she is thinking, without realizing that people's feelings can get hurt. I appreciate this honesty, but it would only work in a society in which people were all dogs who forgot insults a second after receiving one.

We were in a grocery store and she told me there was someone "smelly" in front of us in line. In fairness, he was, but she didn't have to yell it out in her Outside Voice. Thankfully, the line was moving fast and I did not have to look at the guy in embarrassment for too much longer.

Claus and I have come up with code names for certain people, so that we can discuss them without having Miss Big Ears hear and repeat it to them. I'm sure this is a time-honored system that all parents figure out.

Now and then, she'll actually tune into our conversation and say something like, "Who's that?" And I'll lie and say, "Someone you don't know." The last thing I need is for her to blurt out something she overheard and embarrass me.

Recently, our family friend, Jul, got his heart broken. Again. He is a sweet man, but quite unlucky in love. Let's call his last girlfriend Mary, for the sake of anomymity.

"Why don't you come by with Mary for dinner?" I invited one day, as he was at my kitchen counter.

"It's over," he informed me, and went into some details on the breakup speech.

A little later, the conversation turned to dogs, and for some reason, Olivia brought up Ex #2, 'Jane.' "Can we go see Jane's dog?" she requested.

"Honey," I turned to her, " I don't think we'll be seeing that dog anymore. It belongs to Jane, and Jane is just part of a long trail of women that Jul loves and leaves."

She was not seeing through that at all.

"You mean his girlfriends throw him away," she corrected.

I don't know how a four year old can be that astute, but it sure creates some awkward moments.

***
Also reach me via DianeAko.com

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Archives