Corp-speak

April 20th, 2012
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I was in my home office on Saturday morning when Claus came in. "I'd like you to do something for me," he said, in a serious voice that sounded like a preface to a complaint.

"OK?" I ventured.

"I'd really like us to join (a certain organization)," he said. "Can you look into it and sign our family up?" So I wasn't in trouble, but I was about to get work dumped on me for a club I wasn't super interested in.

My husband is the nicest person ever, and he has never treated me like a subordinate. I wouldn't stand for it, but that's besides the point. "Why can't you do it?" I asked.

"You have to sign us up. Applicants have to be US citizens," explained Claus, though he didn't know much more than that. I'd have to look up the fees and the details.

Which annoyed me a little. Like I'm not busy? Spouses do stuff for spouses, but this just seemed a little more secretarial than the usual, Hey, put this check in the bank for me today kind of chore.

"Fine. Draft an application for my review and signature," I sniffed. He looked a mix between amused and surprised.

I have never spoken this way to him before. Frankly, I have never spoken this way to anyone before until I got to this current corporate job. "It's corp-speak," I laughed.

He got up to leave. "Well, well. Okay, then."

We had company coming for breakfast and we were tag-teaming the cooking. He had to go man his dish in the kitchen. I shortly finished my computer task and joined him.

He had hash browns in the pan and they looked decent. We lack a potato ricer, so I asked how he made them. "Fill out a request in triplicate for me to process and respond to," he retorted.

My eyebrows went up an inch and then I let out a big laugh. "So that's how it is?"

"Two can play at that game," he chuckled... but he did look up the club info all by himself online!

Posted in dad, family, mom | 3 Comments »

3 Responses to “Corp-speak”

  1. Ken Conklin:

    Well, after all, Claus is Honorary Consul for the nation of Denmark. That means he's a diplomat. So he knows how to use just exactly the same level of smiling-face-angry-retort as the one he originally felt was previously addressed to him. It'll be interesting to see whether the two lawyers will be equally nasty-polite when it's time for the divorce.


  2. Diane Ako:

    Ken -- touche!


  3. DIO:

    Better watch it Diane, being a honorary consul, he (Claus) might try and claim diplomatic immunity. :lol:


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