By Diane Ako
You know that joke about how you're "lucky" if you step in dog poo, or if a bird poops on you? How extra lucky might I be for having been dumped on... by a gecko?!?
I am the only person I have ever heard talk about this, and understandably so. It requires a lot of skill and timing to be positioned under a gecko's butt.
I was sitting on the sofa last night and I felt a weird splat on my collarbone which was slightly weighty and wet. A tiny droplet of moisture simultaneously hit my cheek.
Now, I've been the bullseye for bird butts a few times in my life so I, sadly, know immediately the difference in the weight of bird excrement versus a water drop. This was neither, but because I could tell it wasn't water, I was confused and curious.
I raised my hand to touch it. It was mushy. I was bracing to be grossed out. I thought it was a dead bug.
"What's on me?" I asked Claus.
He leaned in. "Nothing. Just one of those grey spider egg cases," he said.
"No, it's not. It doesn't feel like that," I countered.
"Just dirt, then. Don't worry," and he swiped it off my neck.
The visual confirmed it: brown, with a dot of white.
Oh, SO super gross.
"It's gecko doo doo!" I sputtered, and got up to get a napkin. It's not the end of the world; I have kept Labradors for more than a decade. I've dealt with a lot worse bodily functions and malfunctions.
After we cleaned my neck and his finger, I had to fulfill my curiosity. Where the hell did that come from? I mean, I know where that came from, but I had to see it.
I looked up. There, on the 12' ceiling above me, nestled in the rafter, was a brown gecko trying to have dinner, completely oblivious to the mini-drama he just created below.
"Wow. I got the coordinates just right on that one," I exclaimed, on the precision it takes to be right under a gecko, in order to have one's collarbone catch his dropping.
So random! I better have an extra lucky day today!