Small Talk

You look pregnant!

July 24th, 2013

Brutal. So brutal.

I'm in the shower and my kid says, "You look pregnant." With surprise and disappointment, I look down at my stomach which is not, to my knowledge, full of life and ask, "Are you saying I look fat?"

She's six. She said, "I'm saying you look pregnant." Small extended finger pokes at my tummy. Sound of ego deflating heard in vicinity.

I think I'm holding up pretty decently, but maybe I need to rethink this exercise program because just last month, I walked into a party and the first, FIRST words out of the hostess' mouth were, "Are you pregnant?"

Like, I was in the middle of my greeting sentence. It goeth like this:

"Hi, I'm sorry we're late, we just--"

"Are you pregnant?!"

"(stunned and flat silence for uncomfortable seconds) We just ran into traffic. No, I'm not pregnant. I guess I should get to a gym."

It's the hostess and it's an acquaintance (rather than a close friend you can rip into) so I can't be all rude and stuff, but I was on simmer for the first 20 minutes.

Now that I think about it, both these insults took place at the end of days that I consider bad days. The Universe sure has a sense of humor.

Posted in child, mom, parent | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “You look pregnant!”

  1. Ken Conklin:

    One of the nice things (or scary things) about a blog (or diary) is that it's possible to look back and see previous comments on a recurring theme. That's why I've never made one -- too scary for me!

    Almost exactly one year ago there was deep introspection by Diane and debate with Claus about the possibility of making another baby. Sturm und Drang. Looks like someone might be wanting to think about that some more. Because in the background we can hear it: tick tick. Then there was the trip to Georgia and the fretting over added avoirdupois, which fretting has continued from time to time since then. As we get older some choices get made for us by the passage of time and forces of nature even if we don't make a conscious decision. I long ago embraced my fatness even it it gets in the way of anyone else wanting to embrace it, thus precluding baby-making.

    Then there's all the hoopla in recent days over royal baby what's-his-name. OMG, did you see the happy couple coming out of the hospital with the baby? OMG, Kate looked sooooo fat as she waddled down the steps with no baby to block our view of her, since hubby was carrying him. They have the heir; now they'll be wanting to make the spare. She'll have an awful lot of work to do in coming weeks to get herself looking svelte again, so hubby will want to get to work on it. Such are the troubles of ali'i and maka'ainana alike.

  2. M:

    Hello Diane,

    Not a good thing to hear but it's better than, "when are you due?"....

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