By Diane Ako
I coincidentally have two girlfriends going through love life changes at the same time, and I'm talking them both through it. One is breaking in a new relationship, one is breaking up.
My text message alert is dinging off the hook. That is, unless I have the phone glued to my ear like I'm in eighth grade again. Husband thinks I/ we are amusing/ridiculous.
One afternoon he came home and caught snippets of these parallel conversations. Then, he went to jujitsu, and when he came home, I was still responding to texts about these men.
You know, questions like: "I texted him and he texted me back with just 'OK.' What do you think that means? What should I text back now? If he liked me wouldn't he have texted back something more? Should I text next or should I call? Should it be tomorrow or the day after? Would that scare him off? Or should I wait for him to call?"
People, don't even act like you haven't been there. You can be all Ivy League- President & CEO- award winning- PhD- Nobel Prize candidate material and you know it's all out the window when it comes to matters of the heart. The game's all different.
I'm always sympathetic to friends in crisis, so I hear it all.
Five hours had elapsed since he first happened on our conversations. "Are you STILL talking about the same things?" he asked in disbelief.
I looked at him disdainfully. "Um. Yes? What's so odd about that?"
"You are grown women. Address the issue once and move on," he suggested, as if this was a line item on a business agenda.
"I don't think you understand," I explained. "We are women. That means we take the temperature of a relationship every seven minutes and analyze it to death, then start the cycle all over. I'm here for them. This is what girlfriends do. Don't even try to understand girl-talk."
"Are all women like this?" he asked.
"Sure. For the right guy, they are," I said.
"Were you like this?" he continued.
"At some point in my life, yes," I answered.
"No, about me," he clarified. Since we have never broken up, he meant during the getting-together phase.
"Oh! No. I wasn't into you," I said honestly and immediately.
Face frown. Not by me.
"Well, sorry. It's just that, you asked me out and I didn't really care if we went out or not," I elaborated.
"That is not helping me feel better," he said flatly.
I laughed. "I bore you a child. We're even by now."
The next thing I knew I was being rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Honesty isn't always the best policy!