By Diane Ako
Olivia had a playdate with Meya. They were in the kitchen asking for weird ingredients and little bowls and measuring devices.
When I say weird, I mean weird. She asked if I had dragonfly breath. I was like, "Dragon breath? You mean bad breath?"
"No, Mommy. *eye roll* DragonFLY breath," said the sassy girl. "Where can we buy some?"
Oh, right, I just saw that on special in the weekly Long's ad.
They wouldn't tell us what they were trying to make but I figured out it wasn't brownies. Anyway, as long as they weren't burning the house down I didn't care as long as they were occupied and not fighting.
Then, Claus picked up his iPad to use (we are always grateful it hasn't melted from being Netflix'ed to death for hours upon hours) and saw this:
Potions for how to fly and become a vampire. Poshens, I should say.
Upshot: it didn't work. I still have Earth-bound, non-blood sucking little girls running around the house.
But if it does kick in after a delayed reaction, I'll have to try some myself. If I were a vampire I wouldn't be so sleep deprived on the morning shift, plus I could fly to and from work and avoid the afternoon congestion on the roads.