Small Talk

Unicorns

June 22nd, 2015

Our favorite neighbor gave Olivia a birthday gift that blew all our presents out of the water. Ha!

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Vicki gave Olivia her entire UNICORN COLLECTION! Thirty-three beautiful unicorns made of glass, ceramic, clay, wood, and pewter.

This immediately became her favorite gift and we've had to play Unicorns non-stop. Everyone got assigned a name and when you're eight, the names are really funny, little-girl things like Fluffy, Puffy, Rosie, and Blossom.

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Actually, to my surprise, she named one Sapphire, which is very sophisticated, though it is orange. When I pointed out that sapphire is a blue gem, she insisted she didn't care and that it's SaFire, because the orange looks like fire. OK.

So I'm sitting on the ground with her playing with these toys and I have no idea what the rules are. If you haven't played with a little girl for a while, it's pretty funny to see how their imagination takes flight.

First, we played hide-and-seek with the unicorns, who ended up using their amazing unicorn powers to find each other. Did you realize unicorn horns have heat-seeking radars to detect body warmth? What kind of cartoons is this kid watching?

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Then, we lined them up and played Battle, which I always lost because her team had a force field shield around them that rejected all my horn-laster-destroyer efforts to penetrate and immobilize. She reached over and laid all my players down dead.

"You cheat! You can't touch my guys!" I protested.

"I can! My force field boomerangs your laser right back to your team and now they're all dead! You killed your own team!" she laughed gleefully.

"No way! I have extra-strong powers when all my unicorn horns combine to form one big laser pointer! You didn't give me a chance!" I whined.

Boy, little girls sure aren't all cinnamon and spice and everything nice. I'm sure this isn't what Vicki imagined her unicorns would be doing in their new house.

In the meantime, my team's in a coma until my surviving leader, Fluffy, can work out a truce with the other leader that could magically unfreeze them. Fluffy is going to have to do some serious thinking on how to achieve this. Wish us luck.

One Response to “Unicorns”

  1. Catherine Toth Fox:

    I think you need to write a children's story about unicorns. You already have so much fodder!


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