December 18th, 2015
We are now checking out guys together, my eight year old and me. We are addicted to Once Upon A Time, which is still on television, but we wait for the whole season to come out on Netflix then we binge watch.
It airs at night, after our bedtime. Well, after my bedtime. It's at 8 p.m. I told Olivia she could watch it without me, but in a move of loyalty, she said she'd only look at it with me.
To tide us over until season five comes out, we're watching old shows. We have a crush on Captain Hook. Not the baby-faced actor who plays him, but the scruffy, leather-clad, eyeliner-wearing character. He's hot.
For the ladies, we both love Regina, but she chooses Queen Regina while I like Mayor Regina.
Anyway, there's one scene (season two) in which two protagonists have tied up the ethically-questionable Hook to a tree and are about to let the ogres eat him, asking aloud, "Why shouldn't we kill you?"
Olivia jumped in and said, "Because he's cute!"
I just about died. This kid is so funny.
We're telling this to our friend Kalei at dinner, when she demanded to see who the object of Olivia's affection is. Auntie Kalei is very protective about Olivia growing up.
We specified we like only the Hook guy, not the actual human without makeup and beard in a regular suit as seen in some Internet images. When he takes the guy liner off, it's over.
Kalei says, "Claus would look like that with eyeliner. Let's try. Hubby, can we put makeup on you?"
He stopped cooking and looked at us. He thinks we're crazy together. We are.
"Come on," she wheedled. "You have pretty eyes. You would look so good in eyeliner. It would bring out your eyes then you can look like the guy your wife and daughter have a crush on."
Maybe that did it. "Fine," he acquiesced.
We went to the bathroom and I kindly chose my liquid eyeliner instead of the pencil, figuring it would be softer and easier to apply. And still he complained it was uncomfortable! Wuss.
He even squeezed his eyes up after each brush stroke, thereby smudging the liner all over the lid. Lucky for him he's not a woman who needs to wear this.
When it was all done, we stepped back to assess. "His eyes look good," Kalei deemed. "Look how pretty his eyes are." They are hazel-greenish. Perhaps I should invest in dark green liner if this is going to be a habit.
"He still looks the same to me," I shrugged.
He walked out to the living room where Olivia was to show her the results so she could have a good laugh. He then went back to cooking, and I could have been a prankster and let him go off to dinner at our friend's house that way, but I was nice and reminded him to remove it.
"How do I take this off?" he asked.
"There's makeup remover and a cotton swab on the counter for you," I instructed.
When he emerged fresh-faced, I suggested he grow out the beard and try this again in a week to really see if he looks like Hook, but he declined. "I just tried makeup on and then used lady soap to get it off. I'm done here. Unless I'm going to get paid thousands of dollars per episode to do this again."
So, that's a no on the dark green liner?