Small Talk

Isn't she a sweetie?

October 4th, 2016

My friend Carolyn loves her dog. Looooves her dog. It's her baby.



It's a three year old Maltese named Sweetie, and I find her affection for her dog cute and amusing. She sleeps with it every night so it gets a bath before it jumps into bed.

It's not uncommon for pet lovers to give their dog a birthday party, and that's what Sweetie got. Hers was catered, with favors and party games. Only humans attended because Sweetie doesn't like other dogs.

Before Carolyn took a vacation, she actually took great pains to make sure the dog's food was properly pre-made and portioned out, ready to pull out of the fridge and set on the floor. Or in the double-elevated, designer-made, stainless steel, Swarovski crystal-embedded feeding station.

Then, my lovely friend used her time to detail the feeding instructions and care schedule, with a handy checklist available, so that her relatives could actually validate Sweetie's daily care.

Photo is below. Please note that Sweetie needs to be prayed for, played with, and photographed.


I saw the now-old checklist on the refrigerator and just about died laughing that it was all completely ignored. She found two food packets in the fridge when she came home, so was her dog actually starving or did it get its meal supplemented with table scraps? Who knows what terrible things happen when Mom's away?

"And I only got one picture of my dog that whole time. ONE!" she added.

The nerve of these people. Probably goes without saying that the dog's soul was not prayed for during this week.


Carolyn's love for her dog isn't what strikes me as funniest about this situation. It's about the fact that she was never really a great pet person before.

Once, I had two mice that I had to give away after I developed an allergy. She said she would take them. That's very kind.


About a month later, I got a call. "I have sad news for you. My (former) dog ate Chairman Mao. And Tawny Satin got heat exhaustion after I forgot her cage outside after cleaning it. So, they've both moved on to the Big Cheese in the Sky," she told me.

Bless their little rodent souls. What a way to go.

Anyhow, look at Carolyn now. She's totally in love with this dog. She's like a helicopter mom. We don't necessarily even walk the dog because she carries it half the time.


It's so sweet to see Carolyn very loving and affectionate with her pet. So apparently, you CAN teach an old dog - sorry, mature dog - new tricks.

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