Barack and Michelle do it. Brad and Angelina do it. John and Yoko did it. How?

As the divorce rate hovers near an estimated 50 percent in the United States, many blame career stress as a major cause of separations. But somehow some couples grow stronger, especially when they work together.

One couple who have worked together for nearly a decade in the stressful world of theater, producing Off-Broadway plays, has decided to share their secrets. “In part, it is because we work together that our bond has strengthened after 10 years of marriage,” says Jamillah Lamb, co-author along with her husband, David, of Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together.

The couple has worked together professionally in their stage company, Between The Lines Productions, Inc., for nine years. But the Lambs say even couples who aren’t business partners are working together every day; because being in any relationship requires negotiating, compromising, and decision-making. Just think about the last time you had to decide whose mother’s house you were going to for Christmas or where you were going to go for vacation or even which movie you were going to see last weekend.

“We get more opportunity to grow together because, between home and work, we’re making 100 decisions a day instead of 10,” Jamillah says. The couple live by their guiding rule, “Love like kids, act like adults.”

“That means to love freely and completely, without a fortress around your heart, and behave responsibly,” David says. A crucial ingredient for any successful marriage is friendship, the Lambs say. Here are some of their tips:

• Enjoy life: Some couples won’t go to theme parks until they have children. But letting one’s inner child out to play with their partner’s inner child strengthens a relationship’s bond.

• Forgive the small stuff: No one is always right, and no one wants to be around someone who always needs to be right.

• Appreciate individuality: Everyone needs to have their own identity, including those in a long-term relationship and couples who work together. David enjoys his comic book collection, while Jamillah keeps a library of romance novels.

• Do not misdirect anger: In psychology, it’s called transference; dumping your bad day on someone else. It is poison for any relationship.

• Remember your love: Couples may fight, but guard what you say. There’s no need for ugliness even when you disagree.

Couples need to remember relationships take work, but they can also be a blast of fun, David says.

“Love is worth the sacrifice,” they agree. “Today, with stories of celebrity couples walking away after only days of marriage and even more people living as though sacrifice is nearly a curse word, we say: ‘It’s worth the sacrifice.’ For us, it means that we are willing to give up something that we thought was valuable or important for something even more important: love and our happiness.”

Love is, in part, the acknowledgement and deep appreciation for another human being, Jamillah says.

“Couples should never take each other for granted,” she advises. “In love, as in business, everyone wants to be appreciated. The simplest gesture can go a long way to help your significant other feel like they are making a significant contribution to your life, your family, or your business.”

In my own marriage, we are looking forward to our eleventh anniversary this year. I find the time has flown by; I think 90% of the trick is finding the right spouse. The one tip I would add to this list is, consider yourselves a team. We both share in duties of housework, cooking, cleaning, and most importantly, parenting.

What is your tip for a happy marriage?

I enjoy when people are "real." I appreciate honesty. That's why I love this new book by Texas author and humorist Dallas Louis, The Mommy Diaries: How I'm Surviving Parenting without Killing Anyone.

The woman is hilarious. After having three children within 26 months (none are twins), Louis' life has been a non-stop circus. From nearly getting kicked out of Disneyland after her youngest tackled Cinderella, to being on a first name basis with her family orthopedic surgeon, Louis' children and home life are a constant source of material - enough to fill her new book.

The Mommy Diaries chronicles the family life of an everyday mom trying to navigate the waters of parenting. Louis walks readers through her most embarrassing moments and some of her more bizarre emergency room trips. She also sheds light on the husband/wife dynamic and the twists and turns a marriage takes when kids (and household projects) enter the mix.

With chapters such as "You Shoved WHAT up Your Nose?" and "Why Some Animals Eat Their Young", Louis shares her parenting lessons with a generous dose of humor. "Parenthood is an intense roller coaster filled with constant chaos, the pitter-patter of adorable, yet never-ceasing little feet, broken dishes, and emotional ups and downs - from the kids and the parents! And all this in addition to the regular duties, chores, and responsibilities of a normal American household," says Louis. "Sometimes laughter is needed to survive the more challenging days!"

I am working my way through the book, but have been laughing out loud since the first page. There are many moments of head nodding in agreement to a statement she's made, like this gem on breastfeeding which "in the beginning, feels as though you have stuck your breast through a meat grinder that is on the slowest possible speed with the dullest possible blade." How I relate to this woman... or am grateful that I chose to stop at one, when I read about the circus that three children can be!

I asked Louis, who honeymooned in Maui, when she would be returning to Hawaii. Here's her answer: "Howdy to all my new Hawaiian friends! I wanted to say 'Aloha' but y'all hear that all the time! When I close my eyes I can still see the waves rolling up on the beach and hear the humpbacks singing in their magnificent underwater chorus... after I was married on Maui , I try so hard to get back to there as often as I can! Now that I can no longer pacify my kiddos with 'Mom & Dad are just going away for a few days'' I know it won't be long before they, too, will see the waves hitting the shore and hear the whales singing in their dreams! I cannot wait to get back to Hawaii , please enjoy the book, and visit my website (www.dallaslouis.com) for a taste of Texas!"

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there - and may your lives be a little less chaotic than the one detailed in the book!

Early Hawaiians were engaged in fish farming or mariculture practices for over a thousand years in Hawaii. One of the largest and oldest inland  fishponds, the Kawainui Loko I'a, was located in Kailua.  Other types of fish ponds were located along the shoreline with a wall enclosure (kuapa) and sluice grates (makaha) to control the movement of fish and tides, and can still be found in Kaneohe Bay.

Join 'Ahahui Malama I Ka Lokahi and the Kailua Hawaiian Civic Club on Saturday May 5 from 8:30am to 12:30 pm to visit the ancient fishponds at Waikalua Loko Kuapa with brief overlook stops to Nu'upia Loko and Kawainui Loko I'a.  Make your reservations by calling 'Ahahui at 808-263-8008. A $10 donation is requested. Meet at Ulupo Heiau at 8:15 am and carpool to the various sites. Bring sun protection, water, snack and camera.

Also, at the Waikalua Loko Fishpond, the groups will participate in the 350.org worldwide event to Connect the DOTS on Global Warming.  Participants will be holding a sign with a painted Red Dot to indicate the rise of sea level within 50 years that will impact this site.  A digital photo of this scene will be added to the thousands of photos being taking on this day throughout the world.

My longtime friend and colleague Minna Sugimoto moved on to a new job outside of news, so current and former staff got together for a send off. Minna reported and anchored for KHNL, then the combined KHNL-KGMB operation, for a total of 14 years. She's now moving into a field similar to mine, as Communications Director at Hawk Tree International. She's thrilled; good for her!

Diane and Minna

The party, which lasted 10 hours, was at Hawaii News Now reporter Brooks Baehr's house. I very much enjoyed seeing old colleagues and friends again, and getting to meet new ones. I like the newsroom culture, and I like the kind of people it attracts.

Here's some photos from the night - only the non-embarrassing ones!

Lyle, Diane, Russ, Brooks

Diane, Teri, Keoki

Diane, Sean

Maile, Beth, Ed

"I'm doing things with Claus I haven't done in six years!" I exclaimed to my guy friend on the phone, who asked what I have been up to.

"Wow! Good for Claus!" he replied.

"I didn't mean it like that," I laughed.

"I did," he said.

It's true. I got pregnant, had a baby, and life completely changed. The simple act of taking a walk alone or going to the beach without packing toys and floaties is now unthinkable to me. We have not had this kind of couples time since I got pregnant six years ago.  I scared a young couple with this information.

Day three of the staycation passed in much the same form as the previous two days; some exercise, lots of nothing, and an afternoon nap. I went three for three on this one, and I love it so much, I'm thinking of approaching my state legislator to sponsor a bill to make a daily siesta mandatory. That, or get myself re-enrolled in preschool.

I originally thought the mini-vacation served as a small reminder of what my life was before I had a child, but after the nap times, I am starting to think it also gives me a glimpse into my future as a retiree. Either way, I like.

So on the third day off, Claus started with a dawn bike ride for a couple hours, followed by an hour walk with me and the dog. He then had to stop in at work for a couple hours. That's the thing about being a manager. He had to go manage.

I also had to do a little bit of work, and did check the cell phone for e mails and messages every few hours. I like to work, but I forced myself to take a mental break. I think it's healthier, though that means I'll have a pile of e mails to return to upon my return.

In the afternoon, we met up again for lunch at another new-to-us joint, Bella Mia in Kaimuki. It was very nice, and I would go again. The food was hearty, the service was friendly, the price was reasonable, and I like supporting small businesses.

I followed this up with a nap and a long walk around the block.

Very, very enjoyable. We love to travel and discover new places, but at this stage of life, this was the perfect type of vacation for us.

What's your vacation this year?