I enjoy when people are "real." I appreciate honesty. That's why I love this new book by Texas author and humorist Dallas Louis, The Mommy Diaries: How I'm Surviving Parenting without Killing Anyone.

The woman is hilarious. After having three children within 26 months (none are twins), Louis' life has been a non-stop circus. From nearly getting kicked out of Disneyland after her youngest tackled Cinderella, to being on a first name basis with her family orthopedic surgeon, Louis' children and home life are a constant source of material - enough to fill her new book.

The Mommy Diaries chronicles the family life of an everyday mom trying to navigate the waters of parenting. Louis walks readers through her most embarrassing moments and some of her more bizarre emergency room trips. She also sheds light on the husband/wife dynamic and the twists and turns a marriage takes when kids (and household projects) enter the mix.

With chapters such as "You Shoved WHAT up Your Nose?" and "Why Some Animals Eat Their Young", Louis shares her parenting lessons with a generous dose of humor. "Parenthood is an intense roller coaster filled with constant chaos, the pitter-patter of adorable, yet never-ceasing little feet, broken dishes, and emotional ups and downs - from the kids and the parents! And all this in addition to the regular duties, chores, and responsibilities of a normal American household," says Louis. "Sometimes laughter is needed to survive the more challenging days!"

I am working my way through the book, but have been laughing out loud since the first page. There are many moments of head nodding in agreement to a statement she's made, like this gem on breastfeeding which "in the beginning, feels as though you have stuck your breast through a meat grinder that is on the slowest possible speed with the dullest possible blade." How I relate to this woman... or am grateful that I chose to stop at one, when I read about the circus that three children can be!

I asked Louis, who honeymooned in Maui, when she would be returning to Hawaii. Here's her answer: "Howdy to all my new Hawaiian friends! I wanted to say 'Aloha' but y'all hear that all the time! When I close my eyes I can still see the waves rolling up on the beach and hear the humpbacks singing in their magnificent underwater chorus... after I was married on Maui , I try so hard to get back to there as often as I can! Now that I can no longer pacify my kiddos with 'Mom & Dad are just going away for a few days'' I know it won't be long before they, too, will see the waves hitting the shore and hear the whales singing in their dreams! I cannot wait to get back to Hawaii , please enjoy the book, and visit my website (www.dallaslouis.com) for a taste of Texas!"

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there - and may your lives be a little less chaotic than the one detailed in the book!

My house looks a wreck, and I don't remember it being this way in 2006. Oh well, the basic premise of my time traveling vacation is being fulfilled, which is - to spend time doing activities I enjoyed doing before I had a child.

For three lovely days, my husband and I took vacation so we could hang out together and remember what it was like to do things without having to account for a third person, and most importantly, to reconnect with each other. We have spots of time alone, but it's not frequent, it's not more than a couple hours, and it's not usually in the day.

This year, we wanted a mini-vacation that allowed Olivia's patterns to continue, while we played hookey. This way, she could go to preschool all day, get picked up by the sitter and watched for his two hours' duty, which let us have about eight hours a day to ourselves. Perfect.

The first day, we went for a three hour hike in the hot sun. The dog and I were wiped out. This is nothing for Claus, who exercises about five hours a week, but it's practically my monthly quota of exercise. What was I thinking? I know. I had weekend-warrioritis. Typical overeager desk jockey. I had to take an afternoon nap and I was still groggy and done for the rest of the day.

The second day, we tried a new trail, and only went for one hour. My body was confused by the abnormal pattern and revolted. I got very hungry and wanted to fetch lunch. It's a good thing my gentle husband is clear on the goal of this time off - that it's to hang out, not to work out - or he would be really disappointed.

We ate at a new joint that's been collecting buzz, He'eia Pier General Store & Deli. We liked it. It was an upscale plate lunch in a great part of the island. We ate lunch on the picnic benches outside with a beautiful view of the Pacific. The breezes were blowing, the sun was shining. It doesn't get better than this.

Or does it?

After lunch, we stopped for dessert at Kaneohe Bakery, also another first for us. My cake decorating teacher worked here once a long time ago. When I was heavy into cake decorating in 2010 and wanted a new career, she said she could refer me for a job here. "It's hard work. You won't like it," she warned. "It's more than just piping cakes."

I'm not afraid of hard work, I told her. But she insisted so much that I tabled the idea, and it eventually drifted off in the tide of unrealized ideas as other things in my life took over. Still, I'd never been inside and was curious. Today was the day for doing new things. This is a vacation, after all! I'm breaking old patterns!

Inside, I saw the cutest piped cupcakes with a spring theme. They had flowers and butterflies on it, and it was so cute, I had to buy one for my little girl. I stared at it all the way home, inspired to make the same. Like mother, like daughter. When I presented it to her after dinner, she actually said, "It's so pretty, I want to gaze at it all day!" Gaze. Sounds like a Disney word.

The deli and the bakery provided just the right respite. Claus wanted to go for a swim, so we actually chose Waikiki Beach, to continue the theme of playing tourist in one's own hometown. The water was refreshing and clear enough to see a few fish, the waves were gentle, and the view from 400 meters out was stunning. People pay big money to do this, I thought, and this is my office. I should take better advantage of it.

After the swim, we headed home to receive Olivia from the sitter before his shift ended. We would normally then get into the usual dinner-bath-bedtime routine, in which I myself end up falling asleep with or not too long after Olivia. This, however, was not a normal night. This was Date Night!

We asked my parents to come and stay with Olivia so we could eat out in a grown up restaurant. I got to wear a child-unfriendly dress (one that would slide right off if my kid clung to me like a tree, which has been known to happen at the end of some dinners) combined with teetering high heels. We went to a place where semi-loud techno music set the tone, while our food dishes were all spicy, raw, or otherwise would have been deemed weird-tasting by a kid. We both got to indulge in a cocktail.

Also, I saw no other children in the restaurant. Not only did that establish that I was in an adult-zone, it was very liberating in the sense that I always snap my head around when I hear someone call for Mommy. I can't help it. It's instinct, and it keeps me in a mommy frame of mind. Were I to hear a random call for Mommy, I would then start thinking about Olivia, looking at my watch, and wondering if my mom put her to bed on time. So that didn't happen for two hours, and it was nice.

We got home at 9:30. There was a time when this was the start of my night. At this stage of life, this is the end of my night. Given the massive amount of exercise (don't laugh!), I was actually overextended for the night.

Still, it's been a good vacation so far.

We all want children to be happy and grow into productive, fulfilled adults, and according to parenting expert Maureen Healy, the secret to that success is in providing a foundation of inner confidence. Healy, a popular columnist for Psychology Today and the PBS Series, This Emotional Life, literally traveled the world in search of the best practices in raising inwardly strong children, and the connection between inner confidence and lasting happiness.

Her new book, Growing Happy Kids, draws on her Buddhist training, her background in child psychology, and the latest scientific research. Her book is packed with guidance and ideas to help parents achieve success raising kids who are strong and confident.

She offers seven specific action plans parents can take to create inner confidence and cultivate a sense of emotional strength that lays the foundation for children's happiest lives:

1.         Build Confidence Daily (even for 5 minutes!): It is the everyday things we do with our children that help them feel stronger, and happier no matter what. So you may say affirmations together on the way to school (they are captive here!) or read a bedtime story every night that teaches about your child’s power within - the point is that small things done over and over again really build your child’s sense of strength.

2.         Get Them Moving: Children need to move their bodies and get their energy released in a healthy way. Because physical activity, eating right, and a good night’s rest are the biological basis of your child’s emerging sense of self-confidence. Also, be sure they do something they love from making a garden to becoming a soccer star. (Let them pick it!)

3.         Sign Them Up for 1 Weekly Confidence Building Activity: Your child’s weekly confidence building activity may be a sport like soccer or something else like singing lessons. Most importantly, they need to see themselves succeed (really important) and also have a regular way to see themselves master a task thus building outer then inner confidence.

4.         See Success Together (visualize, affirm, meditate, pray, and sing): Oprah always says that if you can believe it, you can achieve it. So help your child believe more fully in him or herself. Perhaps it is doing affirmations together like “I love me” and “I am amazing in every way” or doing a guided meditation, singing a song that sparks them up or drawing a vision board. Let your creativity loose so you both become more self-assured. Have fun with this!!!

5.         Get Inspired: Do something inspiring together whether it is going to see magnificent waterfalls, flying a new kite on the beach or learning hula-hooping. By doing something that lights your child up, they learn how to build a new skill and you’ll see their confidence soar.

6.         Create an Uplifting Space: Decorate your child’s space so they see happy photos of themselves, their awards displayed, goals (or vision board) hung up and they have their favorite things all around them. By making the space feel good to your child they’ll realize this world is supporting them, their dreams can come true and everyone wants to see them succeed. (Feng Shui can help too!)

7.         Play More: Happier children know the importance of play whether they are outdoors helping their parents’ garden or playing tag with their peers! So the more you help your child build skills, see their power within and play in their daily lives the happier they’ll be.

Kids are so violent. I never quite realized when I was childless, how much children bite. Other than having my head proverbially bitten off    now and then, I haven't ever been literally bitten, that I can remember.

Olivia came home with a note from school documenting why she had a bandage between her fingers. I don't know if you can read it.

It says Olivia and another child were "arguing over a wagon, the other child then said I'm going to bite you, then Olivia said 'Try.' Then the other child bit her between the fingers."

This is the first time Olivia's been bitten at school (maybe second - it doesn't happen often). She is not a biter.

So I'm not really concerned, though WebMD.com adds more perspective on these four year olds who are biting: "After age three, children usually bite when they feel powerless or scared, such as when they are losing a fight or think that they are going to be hurt by another person. Children older than three who frequently bite other people need to see a doctor. Biting at this age may be a sign that a child has problems with expressing feelings or self-control."

Reading the note made me wide eyed in amazement, before I let out a laugh. I could totally picture this little schoolyard incident. It's the succinct, wacky, threatening dialogue. It's the slight pidgin accent I presume in the retort "Try."

Can you even imagine if adults went around solving our workplace issues like this? What I picture in my head is SNL-skit random hilarity.

Someone sent me St. Patrick’s Day recipes for green smoothies. Sounds like a perfect opportunity to “sneak” some healthy greens into my daughter's diet- I"ll have to give these a try. If you do, let me know how it tastes!

They're from Omega Juicers - and no food coloring is necessary to make these drinks festive. 

The Leaping Leprechaun
1/2 cup strawberries
1 banana
1/2 cup of spinach leaves
1 cup water
Lucky Lucy
1 handful parsley
2 apples
1 handful spinach
1 cucumber
1 lemon
1-inch piece ginger
Sparkling Shamrock
1 cup fresh pineapple cubes
1/2 cup strawberries
1 banana
1/2 cup of spinach leaves
1 cup water
One to two drops of vanilla essence
One cup of yogurt and add a teaspoon or two of honey for sweetness (optional)
Irish Twist
3 cups fresh baby Spinach
1 Lime, 1 large Tomato
2-3 Carrots and 1/2 Carrot top bunch
1/2 bunch Parsley
1 stalk Celery
Green Morning
4-6 Carrots
4 stalks of Celery
1 Lemon
1 Macintosh or Yellow Apple
Combine all ingredients into a blender. Blend until really smooth, not still grainy or chunky or with bits of leaves floating about. It can be thick, as you can always thin with water, but it needs to be smooth.  This should take only a couple of minutes. Blend until the greens are so pulverized that they are no longer visible other than infusing your smoothie with a beautiful green color.