I don't mean to brag, but I'm kind of a genius. I just invented a new sandwich and I'm sure it's going to buoy me right to the top of the James Beard Awards or at the very least, maybe get me an email from the Star-Advertiser's food reviewer Nadine Kam to say, good job. (Aim high.)
I give you... the Grilled Cheese Tart!
It's a grilled cheese sandwich with a Pop-Tart warmed in the middle alongside the cheese. It's so good, it's stupid.
It was late one night when I had a craving to eat something (and this story does not involve substance usage!), and I was making myself a grilled cheese sandwich when I saw one of my kid's Pop-Tart boxes on the counter.
Hmm, I thought. That sounds good, too. Unable to decide if I wanted now to eat the sandwich or the tart, it occurred to me I could have both!
Why choose? This is America, and I can make choices without limitations on class, caste, religion, race, or crass culinary hankerings! I can have it all!
So I had it all. Right on my plate. I plopped that strawberry bad boy on top of the nicely melting cheese and nestled it between two slices of hotly buttered bread.
I felt rebellious against the snobby gourmet revolution. I felt like a firebrand for Best Loved Processed American Foods From The 70s.
You see, the bread was soft and mushy Wonder Bread, perfect for lapping up all the melted butter and without all those trendy grains for fiber. The cheese was Kraft Singles, deliciously uniform and plasticine in its wrapper, and unnaturally orange. And then there's, of course, the Pop-Tart that will stay fresh for ten years until one opens that metallic encasing.
I'm raging against the food machine. I'm feeling sexy! Alive!
I bit into it. I was a little hesitant to find out if I'd just created an atrocity or a marvel, and my taste buds told me with victory that it was the latter.
It's the savory of the cheese juxtaposed against the sweet of the pastry jam. It's tasty!
I was so excited, I went into the bedroom to tell my husband what I'd created. He, with his Michelin aspirations and Zagat bible. He didn't laugh at me. He said he'd like to try it, too!
We looked online to see if this was a whole new invention, and it seems to be. There's sandwiches made using Pop-Tarts as the bread, but there are no sandwiches I found with Pop-Tarts as the filling.
I'm so super impressed with myself! When the James Beard Award committee calls, just let them know I'm working on my next masterpiece. It involves Spam.