As I mentioned in the previous blog, I committed to sewing Olivia curtains for her room, because she asked me to. I'm not a great seamstress, but I can do straight lines (somewhat!)
One Saturday, my friend Kalei came over, so I asked her to help me with the curtains. She is about as undomesticated as they come (What's the opposite of that? Feral?) so she did the following whenever I asked for help:
-Need to respond to a text
-Need to post something work-related on Facebook
-Laugh at me
All this, while I slave over the sewing machine.
Probably the funniest moment was when she said she couldn't help me because she had to look up the number for a sado masochist.
If needing to find a bondage professional has never come up in your casual conversations, this is how it sounds:
Me: "Can you hold the other end of this material so it doesn't move?"
Kalei: "Hang on. I just need to find the number for a dominatrix for an interview." <two text alert ringtones later> "Shoot. She can't go on air. Who was that other dominatrix? Think, think."
I should clarify, Kalei is a media person. The angle here was a tie-in to the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon.
So it goes on like this for many minutes and I, being a liberal media person as well, am also not fazed by the topic. It's just another conversation in my crazy household.
We debate why a professional dominatrix would not want to go on air to advertise her business (I mean, if this is her living, right?), we brainstorm other leads for S&M services, we discuss the attractiveness of the subject matter in general.
I have a lot of contacts in my address book but because I'm a news person, a lot of them are politicians, agency directors, and business executives. She's in music radio, so her sphere of influence is, well - alternative.
"You would make a good dominatrix," she muses. "You're bossy."
FYI this is purely conjecture. S&M is not in my life experiences. Not that there's anything wrong with it!
This, because I've bossed her around (or tried to) all morning with the curtain sewing. She's one of my best friends and so it's easy to slip into the familiar / command form.
Like, thanks? I've never thought about that before?
She continued on. Continued! This is so bizzare! "I also can't see you as the subject. You're too strong willed. You'd be like, 'No. I don't feel like doing that. I'm not going to.'"
Truth be told, she's probably right. That sounds exactly like my personality. Bossy Chinese lady. Spun for political correctness: Confident career professional!
Here's what bossy Chinese lady did accomplish, though, while non-domesticated friend found a zillion ways to not have to help: I whipped up that set of curtains.