Dead now

This served to feed my compulsion as a shrimp owner. I would worry about them at work, talk about them to my friends, and research shrimps for a half hour at night, in my free time, before I went to sleep.

At first, we had a burial in the yard. Olivia and I took the first few shrimp out and had a mini-ceremony. Claus and Jul happened to be home and chose to attend the last rites. It was a decent turnout.

However, over the next couple of days more and more would die. One morning I woke up and six died overnight. I was quite bummed.

Two were left alive; one, barely. One big one was swimming around looking normal, the other was lying on its side, convulsing. (That's how the others looked before they died, too.)

I pulled them out and put them back in the old vase, which I hadn't cleaned out yet. I mixed a fresh batch of brackish water and put them in. To my relief, the sick one rehabilitated! From lying on its side paralyzed, it managed over the hour to stand up and start trying to do normal shrimp things (swim, eat).

When I returned home, it was doing even better. It was swimming more. I've been monitoring him in the days since and I think his nervous system is still (permanently?) impaired, as he swims erratically- jolting, like a stroke victim. To my surprise, he is a fire red and doesn't seem to change color anymore. I wonder if the trauma he suffered affected his ability to camoflauge?

I feel badly about injuring sentient beings. I can't believe I killed 23 shrimp!

The gallon tank sits empty now. I'm sure I'll fill it up again soon, but not immediately. Let me see if Will & Bill make it through the week.

Now and again, I want to sew something custom-made that I can't find in a store (usually a cover for something) and at my few stabs at it, I've found it nearly beyond my skill level. My guesswork creations are rudimentary and hard-earned, if they succeed at all.

Simplicity pattern

Lately, the mommy in me has wanted to sew pretty clothes with fancy embellishments for my daughter - and a little matching outfit for the dog and/or cat, because it would delight Olivia to wear an outfit that matches her pets.

I can do straight lines. My mom forced me to take it up in high school, so one summer I enrolled in a short course in which I produced a few skirts and tank tops. I was never that interested at the time, but she insisted it was a life skill.

Later, my junior year Home Economics class reinforced the skill by having us all make shorts. OK, score one for Mom. She was right to make me do this.

Decades passed, and my interest sparked in 2000. After 11 years of toying with the idea (who ever said I wasn't a procrastinator?) I researched a few sewing classes and enrolled in one that fit my schedule. (I actually had to take vacation to achieve this.)

I wasn't sure what to expect, but at this particular class, I found it to be more like a paid club of crafters who get together as their schedule allows, to have access to a nice workspace and a skilled seamstress who acts as a resource/ mentor.

The teacher doesn't stand at the head of any classroom and lecture from a lesson plan. In between helping students she works on her own projects as well as the store's other service, alterations.

I prepared my supplies and had bought a pattern for a girl's skirt. Once at class, I whipped it out and explained my background, my goals and what I was trying to sew for this project.

The teacher, a very nice Japanese lady, reminded me more of a mother, as she looked at the pattern and said, "OK, cut here and here." Over the next three hour session, we would have this back and forth dialogue in which I would say, "What next?" and she would tell me what to do.

The good thing about this method is that I really learn by doing. Without a lot of chatter, I was able to 90% finish a skirt for Olivia in the first class.

The drawback is that I don't have a comprehensive overview of what I'm doing. I could not independently sew another pattern without assistance. Each method has its pros and cons.

I'm sure that over the years, students drift in and out, while a core group remains. On my first day, there were four other "regulars." In talking to one of them, she mentioned she has come every Monday for the past four years because she likes to have the teacher there to lean on for occasional advice and feedback.

I enjoyed myself and was very proud of my progress - I had not expected to get that far in one session. I had fun, too.

The next day I was ready to return, but I was having a heck of a morning: I had found a huge box of supplies at my mom's and put it in her driveway. My intention was to drive up with my car, and load it up before I went to class.

However, it started pouring heavily, so by the time I returned, the cardboard box and first layers of fabric remnants were soaked. The box was heavy and in the two minutes it took me to get out of the car and put it in the trunk, I was drenched.

I also realized I forgot to brew myself coffee before I left. I drove back to my house to change clothes, dry my hair, and make coffee. Ever had one of those mornings when nothing goes right?

Then I decided I wasn't going to kill myself to get to class. I called to let them know I wasn't coming today, and after I dried myself, I sat down with my cup of hot coffee and the newspaper. That's just as good a morning, too.

Each time, I run down to the store to buy shrimp. They come in a tiny cup of about nine or ten for $7 at Shirokiya, which is the best deal I've seen so far. The pet stores charge $1/shrimp.

I already have the bottle of spirulina, which I transfer to a small container with a toothpick to scoop it up with. I give food along with the jar of shrimp, and a strong suggestion to not overfeed. I've seen someone else's jar full of dead opae because they were overfed and the water got polluted.

At Shirokiya, there are little containers of snails alongside the shrimp. They're black nerite snails, or pipipi, found commonly in the tidepools of Hawaii. They're promoted as algae cleaners to discourage heavy buildup on the tank walls. Unless you are OCD about collecting shrimp, as I admit I am, in which case there will be two dozen tiny mouths scouring the tank walls for the first sign of algae to eat.

The most recent time I was at Shirokiya, I decided to buy myself a cup of two snails for $1. I had Olivia with me, and I handed her the cup to hold. She immediately shook it like a rattle. "Hey! That's not very nice!" I chided, and asked her to hold it gently.

We got home and I put the snails in the ecosystem. One flipped over and started crawling up and out of the water. Olivia named it Brownie, because it looks dark like the brownies we made earlier that day.

The other laid where it fell. I suggested we not name that one, because I suspected it wouldn't need a name. When it was still lying the same way on its shell the next morning, that confirmed it was dead.

I didn't think the living one would stray that far from the water, but in the morning, it was gone. My counter is black (and cluttered) so I didn't immediately see it, but I finally found Brownie a foot away from the tank.

I picked Brownie up and dropped him back in the water. He started crawling right up again. Claus got some plastic wrap to cover the top of the tank.

I mentioned this to the pet shop guy (who doesn't sell the snails), who'd heard similar things from other customers. It doesn't appear the snails like that type of environment. Apparently everyone's snails try to commit suicide.

I'm not sure what to do about Brownie. Maybe I should return him to the ocean rather than risk him continually running away from home?

Relationship books are dime a dozen, but very few are written from the perspective of researchers using science to answer pressing questions, says Jennifer Harman, an assistant professor of social psychology at Colorado State.

Harman was one of 15 university researchers nationwide who wrote chapters of "The Science of Relationships: Answers to Your Questions about Dating, Marriage and Family."

"The Science of Relationships" (Kendall Hunt) is based on science unlike most relationship and self-help books, which are opinion-based and written by clinicians, Harman said. In this recently released book, scientists address 40 of the most common questions on such topics as attraction and relationship initiation, love, intimacy and attachment, long-term relationship processes, the dark side of relationships, sex and parenting.

The team - and other researchers with master's and doctoral degrees - continues to answer questions at http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/. Some recent topics:
* Do men really think about sex every seven seconds?
* The birds and the bees as early as age 3?
* What are the high costs of parenthood?

"This is a fun book that is written in one collective voice but is grounded in research," said Harman, who specializes in the study of how individuals think about and influence others. "We all wanted to make
psychology more accessible. Plus, it helps my students learn more about what I do as a psychologist."

The book is written in a format that most people can understand - simple, scientific answers to basic questions about family, marriage and relationships.

"The key difference between our book and the other books on relationships out there is that all of our contributors are relationship scientists and teachers at colleges/universities who are true experts on
relationships," the authors say on scienceofrelationships.com. "We take that expertise, add in a little research, and present things in an easy to read format."

Other authors included researchers from Haverford College, Monmouth University and University of Texas at Austin. Questions were determined through online polls and submissions from students. Harman wrote chapters on such topics as sex before marriage and sex in relationship to love.

To watch Colorado State University psychology professor Jennifer Harman talking about "The Science of Relationships" go to http://youtu.be/mDHNtfXao8s.

I grew up around hundreds and hundreds of fish and marine life of all kinds, in fresh, brackish, and salt water. My father is more than an avid aquarium hobbyist. He is mildly obsessive-compulsive.

I should really know a lot more about fish, based on this upbringing, but I don't. My mother discouraged his hobby because she found herself a fish widow, eating dinner alone at 9 p.m. because my dad was still cleaning "one more tank" or whatever people with 1,000 gallons of fish tanks do.

I can commit to pets; I've almost always had a cat, dog, mouse, rat, hamster, rabbit, guinea pig, turtle or something around my residence. My commitment to a water animal has been limited to my water garden outside or one solitary fighting fish.

Then, I recently got these Hawaiian red shrimp, opae ula. The tiny red shrimp have captured my interest in a big way, which is surprising even to me. I love sitting down and watching them. I can spend a long time staring at them.

For my viewing pleasure, I wanted to upgrade the experience to a larger tank, where a larger plane of glass and a bigger swimming area would surely increase the enjoyment. My cousin had a 10 gallon tank she was giving away, so I took it.

I discussed this at length with my father, who recommended I go to one of his favorite pet stores for gravel and other decorations. (I could practically hear my mother rolling her eyes in the background.)

Once there, I saw a lot of different sizes of tanks, and they were all pretty affordable, so I selected a more manageable size - a one gallon tank. It's perfect. It's a good step up from the flower vase they current inhabit, but not as huge as a 10 gallon.

Then, I got some gravel and a plastic plant - one that Olivia would approve, as it has a flower on it. Lastly, I took the clerk's recommendation to buy a Japanese moss ball (Cladophora aegagropila) to add to the tank.

This adorable puff ball cost nearly as much as the tank ($10) but he said it cleans out the impurities from the water. When I got home, I dropped it in the vase (this was before I put the tank together) and all the shrimp congregated on it.

My dad was quite excited that I was finally taking up his hobby, so he called over to the store and provided his credit card. At check out time, the clerk handed it all to me and said, "Your dad just paid for it." Cool!

Later that day I showed my parents the goods. "This is really cute," my dad said. "I might have to get one of these and start a shrimp tank, too." Now retired, my dad gave up his indoor tanks, but cultivates five water gardens outside and inside, two big bowls of swordtails and 14 vases of Bettas. And maybe, to my mom's dismay, one starter tank of opae.

My goal for weekends is to stay at home. I don't even want to go anywhere that I can't get to on my own locomotion, but if a car is required, then I prefer to stay within a five mile radius. Claus is kind of the same so our values align.

Now and then, on a quiet Sunday, I will get a wild hair, as a I did last weekend. "I'm going to run a quick errand at the mall," I announced. "Want me to take Olivia so you can have some quiet time?"

"Are you just going to the one store?" he asked. He hates going to the mall with me. He hates waiting.

"Well... depending on energy, I might go to the pet shop to look at more opae ula," I said.

He likes to be together. "I'll come too," he offered. And then he got all ambitious on me and threw in a couple more errands, including this: "Let's go to the new Safeway on Beretania to look at it!"

"Ooh, good idea. Let's check it out," I agreed. We piled in the car and left.

The new Safeway was all big, clean, and gourmet inside, with an elevator and a fancy escalator that accommodates shopping carts. So 21st century. Wow! It wasn't as Whole Foody as we thought it might be, but we still liked it. It's better than our old Safeway on Beretania, if you recall that one, which was in need of a makeover.

It made grocery shopping more exciting, so nearly three digits later, we were walking out with all kinds of Iron-Chef-aspirational things to try for dinner that night.

I laughed to Claus that this trip was an amusing indicator for our life stage, one in which checking out a new grocery store is a planned outing, perhaps even verging on date material. I recalled with a little nostalgia the days where the standard for excitement was higher - a new restaurant, wine bar opening, or to go really  crazy, a music concert on a weeknight.

Then I realized: I've become my parents. In fact, they did check this place out on its opening day!

Session I: "Economic Trends & Forecasts"
8:30am - 10:00am
Moderator: Chris Kam, Senior Director, Market Insights, Hawai'i Visitors & Convention Bureau

Paul Brewbaker - Prinicipal, TZ Economics
Joseph Toy - President, Hospitality Advisors, LLC
Eugene Tian, Ph.D - Acting Administrator, Research & Economic Analysis Division, DBEDT

Session II: "Major Markets & Competitive Destinations"
10:10am - 11:45am
Moderator: Daniel Naho'opi'i, Tourism Research Director, HTA - Visitor Data

Duke Ah Moo, Vice President Product Development, Partner Relations, eCommerce, Pleasant Hawaiian Holidays
Yujiro Kuwabara, President of JTB Global Service, LLC and Travel Plaza Transportatoion, LLC

Session III: "Shifting Retail Markets"
12:00 noon - 1:30pm

Barbara Campbell, Vice President Retail Development and Leasing, Outrigger Enterprises, Inc.
Dave Erdman, President, PacRim Marketing Group

Where: Hawaii Prince Hotel, Mauna Kea Ballroom
When:  Tuesday February 28, 2012, from 8:00 am - 1:30 pm

Ticket sales: http://www.patahawaii.org/event/1323722461/2012-Annual-Hawaii-Tourism-Outlook

I'm predisposed to like meditation-type practices, so that resonated with me. In honor of Billy's suggestion, I'm going to keep it short today and give you my electronic five minutes' worth of stillness.

Be well, go in peace.

Paul's niece, Emma, received a pack of panties she didn't like. He asked me if Olivia wanted them. They were new. "Sure," I said.

Apparently, for weeks he carried the half dozen undies in his briefcase, in case we spontaneously saw each other. It's entirely possible.

His travel path could take him through Waikiki. Sometimes my work brings me to KITV. The reason he didn't use our (previously mentioned) "Interoffice Trish" is because he wanted to see me in person and also deliver a belated Christmas gift.

So this man is walking around town with a man-purse full of little girl panties, which is otherwise not a problem until he gets assigned to cover President Obama's arrival, and his bag is checked by Secret Service.

"By the time I remembered they were in the bag, it was too late. I probably should have left them on my desk but I was rushing out the door," Paul said.

He says he didn't get odd looks from the agents after they handed the bags back. Or maybe he blamed his photographer.

After all this, Paul finally gave in and asked his coworker/ my neighbor Trish to take it all home to me.

I had informed Claus of this anecdote previous to getting the goods, so when I pulled the brightly colored stack of undergarments of the bag, he quipped, "Is that what it means to get your panties in a bunch?"

In I Said No! they share what they learned about how kids can deal with the problems and challenging situations associated with inappropriate touching, helping kids set healthy boundaries for their private parts. Written from a kid’s point of view, I Said No! uses kid-friendly language, a simple mnemonic, and engaging illustrations by experienced child book illustrator Sue Rama to help parents and concerned adults give kids guidance they can understand, practice and use.

The book covers the most important issues in a straightforward and easy to understand manner. I Said No! helps kids learn what are private body parts, as well as the difference between good touching and bad touching, and people they can trust and people they can’t. Kids learn to easily differentiate good touching verses bad touching; for example, the difference between holding hands and touching private parts.

I Said No! also encourages children to not to keep secrets and to report something that they think is wrong and that by reporting something they think is wrong or if inappropriate touching occurs, they can go to their parent and let them know what happened and know they won't be disciplined. I Said No! also includes information just for parents from child development experts to help them better understand the issues involved and things they can do to help their child.

When I first heard about this book, the nation was embroiled in the Joe Paterno/ Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal, so it seemed timely and topical to review a book of this nature. I also have a young child who fits the target audience, and as most parents will tell you, we parents worry constantly about the safety of our children. As much as I'd prefer to avoid the topic, I thought it seemed smart to actually address it head on.

So I got a copy and read it to my four year old. She's aware of private parts now and when I read it to her she looked at the ground instead of doing what she normally does, which is asking questions and pointing at the pictures. She was embarrassed, to my surprise. I gave up and will try again in a few months.

However, I also asked mother and early childhood educator Lois Fogelstrom, director of of Calvary Episcopal Church & Day Care, to review it. She had a similar experience. "To my surprise, my six year old said, 'Mom, this is a little embarrassing.' My five year old said, 'No, I like it. Read it some more.' As I read the book, they both stopped me to ask questions or re-state what I read in their own words. I was really impressed at their interaction as I read."

She continues, "The only problem I had with the book, if any, was when my five year old asked, 'What do I do if someone wanted to hurt me or take me away, and I don't have a red flag in my pocket?' I just had to explain that the red flag is just a make-believe term for saying NO! Once they understood the green and red flag concept, they fully understood the message of the book. Therefore, I would recommend this book to any parent. It was a great ice breaker for any parent who has to discuss such a delicate yet very important topic with any child. My children learned that the 'bad man' we speak of referring to strangers, could actually be someone they know. They also know now that if they are ever put in such an unfortunate situation, it is not their fault."

Fogelstrom also shared this with others in her family and says they had the same response.

It's an unappealing topic, but this book does its best to tackle an important safety issue, and gives parents a good starting point from which to open the conversation. It's too bad it originated from Zack's unfortunate experience, but kudos to his mom for turning a bad situation into one that many others can learn from.

List $12.95
Perfect Paperback 38 pages
Suggested Reading level: Ages 4 and up
Boulden Publishing

ISBN-10: 1878076493 ISBN-13: 978-187807649